• DINA HAWTHORNE

Good Mourning

...to those in need. 

"Death is an experience many of us are aware will happen, which few are prepared for." -OHS

Recovering from Grief will.....never happen.


It took me all of one year and a few months to realize this completely. Recovering is a word I believe, best reserved for people challenged with yielding to temptation; putting a stop to behaviors that are damaging. Example, drinking irresponsibly, overworking muscles in your body, abusing drugs and prescription drugs. You can also, recover from healthy habits such as working, or an extended family/leisure vacation, but as for grieving, there is no recovering from that. 



Grieving (to me) is like living with chronic pain, which the medication used to subdue emotions can change frequently. It’s an emotion that can’t stop, and if not careful, you can end up needing to recover from bad habits that it has the potential to create. Now having a Whiskey on the rocks day, isn’t the same as Whiskey on the rocks morning noon and night. Or worst, downing them like a chain smoker; at this point, you are adding to your emotional distress. 


Death can happen at any point and any age. Heck, it can be likened to the coming of Christ sometimes. It can just happen amid a celebration, kissing a loved one, saying I will see you later, or walking downstairs to grab the laundry only to go back upstairs and find that your loved one isn’t going to help you fold the laundry…it happens that quickly, and sometimes you can receive a warning its happening, which doesn’t help to prepare your emotions. I don’t think anyone is fully prepared for the initial feeling they will experience when a person they love experience death.



 Now, (based on my own experience) if someone that does experience death and you are not connected to that individual, do not love that person or aren’t emotionally invested, the end will most likely not affect you in any way. However, this isn’t about the disconnect or the absence of love for the deceased, but the presence of it and admiration and adoration for the dead. This makes the grieving process painful at times, but I would be remised if I don’t add, guilt can play a large part in the grieving process as well, which is also a hard fact, but not the essence of this written expression. Good Mourning can be experienced by those mourning in love and those grieving in guilt. It may be more challenging for individuals who are experiencing guilt, as memories may not be pleasant, and to that I say, therapy and medication can be useful. As for the latter, the memories can be overwhelming. Love can be overwhelming and pacing yourself, is essential. So I say to those mourning in love, create a routine in the morning that allows for your tears to fall in the space of harmony. Sing, create a workout just for that emotional space you are in, draw, color, dance, create a moment that is special, that allows you to ride that wave when it comes, so it doesn’t take you out. So you don’t drown. And if the night time is challenging, you can have a Good Mourning at night too. Draw a bath, listen to music, blow bubbles, laugh out loud, have a snack, cuddle up and watch something that makes you laugh and have a warm beverage of your choice, turn down your lights and close your eyes. You need something for just you; you deserve a Good Mourning too. Here’s to a Good Mourning….Revelations 21:4-6 

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